I think too often we — whether singles, Christians, whatever — tend to “tag along” with ideas without asking any questions Certain ideas and ways of doing things have just become the status quo. We blindly adopt the “if they’re doing it, I probably should too” ideology.
I would categorize marriage as one of those things. We never really examine if it’s something that’s for us. Instead we just assume it’s the natural next step and right and we fall right in line.
Do we get married because we have legitimate, real reasons, or do we do it just because that’s what society, and especially the church, tell us that we should do? If you get down to the heart of the matter, almost everything that one could do inside a marriage, could also be done outside of a marriage, whether in a committed partnership, or in some cases, just a “regular” relationship.
Having and raising children, for example, while best done with a husband and wife, can also be carried out as long as two loving parents are equally involved in the lives of their children. And with the divorce rate being as high as it is and single parenting being so common, the idea that you have to be married to successfully raise a child can easily be thrown out the window.
Getting married for sex is popular among Christians. While that may not be the only reason, for those Christians who have committed to abstaining from sex while they’re single, you had best believe that thought has crossed their minds as the wedding day approaches. But here again we find something that can be easily accomplished outside of a marriage. It may not be Godly, but it can be done.
These are just two aspects of married life. There’s also the love, support, and companionship that is shared between the husband and a wife. In addition there are countless other things that are crucial to having a healthy, Godly marriage. Yet, honestly, I don’t know that I can come up with one thing that can only be accomplished inside a marriage.
However, that’s a very worldly mindset to have, don’t you agree? God did create marriage. He created it in order that we might perpetuate a Godly legacy through our families and saw that the marriage would be the best means of coming to that end. He did create man and woman to be monogamous, despite what current events and common human behaviors might tell you. We know that a three stranded cord is not easily broken. When those three strands are composed of God, a man, and a woman, each committed to the other wholeheartedly, there is a bond, a covenant that is formed that cannot be broken. That bond is marriage.
There are undoubtedly many singles who have done, and are doing, great things for God. Yet there are special callings and purposes that God has given a married couple as well. They’re things that often cannot be achieved by just one person, but rather require the partnership of marriage in order to fulfill.
So here’s my question for you: why do you want to get married? What purpose or fulfillment would it add to your life that you would not otherwise have? What things do you feel can only be realized within the context of a marriage?
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My purpose for getting married is to have my relationship recognized by God. Someone in church always told me “God doesn’t bless a mess.” While the world may dictate that all things done while being married can be done while not married I choose to listen to a higher calling and respect the importance of marriage as a blessing over my household.
Comment by Jasmine December 18, 2009 @ 11:29 amIt’s true. If you’re a “couple” in church, there IS a strange gravitational force exerted from all sides. If you’re not careful, it will pressurize you into matrimony whether the bride and groom want to get married or NOT. We should always step back and ask ourselves objectively: should we marry in the spring because it’s what we really want to do? Or is it that next spring we don’t really have anything else to do?
Comment by Mark December 18, 2009 @ 3:20 pmOne of the reasons my husband and I got married (apart from the obvious-love, etc.) is becuase marriage in its self is a ministry and like you said there are special callings placed on married couples…and one of them for us was bringing a child in this world and raising her together.
Comment by fabdogooder December 19, 2009 @ 10:48 amGood job on this and the ending questions are good also.
Comment by jetara December 22, 2009 @ 12:10 amAll relationships should be treated according to Gods way of doing it! The world has been o.k with raising kids without a dad in the house. Is that really the design for the home and is that Gods way of how it should be done. I got married and am married now for several reasons. When you desire to be with a man and eventually love him soo much you want to give yourself to him; you should consider marriage. IF you know that this person is your friend and loves you the same whay not marry also.It is not o.k to have premarrital sex and think that your marriage will prosper in that area. Not saying it cannot when you go before god. Both parties also have to want the same thing and want to achieve the same goals. Again what are our relationships based upon these days?
Comment by Taranah December 23, 2009 @ 10:14 amI feel marriage is important for me. I have always wanted the marriage,children and the dream home.Most important I have had a very very hard life my father was never apart of my life but cared for and loved all six of my male siblings. I believe marriage for me would fill that void. Plus I strongly believe we should do as God directs and not follow the direction of society. As you pointed out a society that has little respect for marriage and Gods word.
Comment by Ebony December 23, 2009 @ 4:01 pmMarriage is definitely man made. Marriage is a form of slavery. It is an unenforceable agreement. An agreement is a contract between 2 or more parties. There must be mutual assent between the parties, consideration (something of value exchanged) and three other elements to form a binding agreement. I’ll stop with the mutual assent or intent to enter into the agreement. Crazy people can not form legally binding agreements, and therefore makes any agreement entered into null and void or unenforcable. Why? The essential element of Mens Reas is missing. The social, cultural and economic system of feudalism called capitalism makes people crazy. There can be no meeting of the minds or mutual assent between the parties.
Comment by Cassandra December 27, 2009 @ 8:32 amFor example, a woman marries a man with a history of bi-polar. He doesn’t tell her. By not telling her he robs the woman of choice.What such a condition entails may help the woman decide for or against marriage. Or, say a gay man marries, has kids, finds a lover outside the marriage and contracts AIDS. He tells. Surely a woman would not have married a gay man if she knew it before marriage.The intent on her part is to marry a straight man. Who knows what the gay mans intent was. The point is mutual assent. When an essential ingredient, like trust and honesty is missing, the consideration for marriage is unilateral or one way. Both parties have to agree upon the same thing, not to different things. Agreeing to different things is what people do, and it is proof of man’s insaneness. Insanity is when one can not appreciate the consequences of his/her actions. Man invented marriage as a way to control women and take female power. Marriage is criminal. It fits the elements of criminal behavior. As soon as people grow up, stop attributing man-made things to God
and see the reality of life, people can begin to live happy lives in sync with what is. Read: The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success In Life, by Emmet Fox. If man spent his time undoing the lies invented to do the opposite of IS, and think that the opposite of truth is truth the world would turn back around into the natural order of things. Now, it is perverted.The idea of marriage is part of the fabrication. Two people can do well the same things inside a marriage that they do outside of one, and enjoy greater happiness, and far less stress.I have never been married, nor wanted to enter into a marriage. People I’ve been close to have and it, like family is not what Religion makes it out to be and forces down peoples social and cultural and economic throats. When mankind begins to observe the HUMAN family parts of a whole idea can merge into the divine idea behind all mankinds silliness and confusion about the essence of life: what is is, and stop making it up and attributing it to God.
My wife and I got married because it was the natural progression of our relationship from a spiritual and emotional perspective.
Comment by Mocha Dad December 29, 2009 @ 8:01 pm