the BLOG of stuart mcdonald

The Biggest Reason You’re Not Married
February 26, 2010, 11:11 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , ,

There are certain questions that I can’t stand to answer. Partially because the answer will bring no benefit to the questioner, and partially because the question itself makes certain implications. My favorite (or perhaps least favorite) question of this type — “Why aren’t you married/dating/in a relationship?”

We all love to get that question, don’t we? Whether it’s family, parents, old friends we haven’t seen in a while, or maybe a new acquaintance (but I hope not a date, lest they’ve forgotten their manners), they all want to know why we haven’t been “snatched up” into a relationship.

I’ve been guilty of asking this question before, as I’m sure you have. When I ask the question, it’s really a less offensive way of saying, “What’s wrong with you? Where are your defects? Do you have a personality disorder? There must be some logical explanation as to why someone hasn’t decided they want to spend the rest of their life with you? What’s the problem?”  That’s the backhanded brilliance of the “why aren’t you” question — it says all that and more in such a way that people often don’t have a decent answer. Continue reading


Are Interracial Relationships Biblical?
February 23, 2010, 11:11 am
Filed under: race, Relationships | Tags: , , , , ,

Last week I talked about how interracial dating can go wrong by citing a certain website that is designed exclusively for those desiring only interracial relationships. I noted how this can allow people to develop unhealthy, racially-based fetishes. Since then, some have brought up the question of whether or not interracial dating is Biblical. This argument is not only easily dismantled, but in fact, racist in and of itself.

In order to properly talk about interracial relationships, we must define what race is. The best definition I have found comes from Dr. Mikhail Lyubansky, a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Illinois. He defines race as a “classification of human beings into politically motivated socially constructed categories based on arbitrary phenotypical combinations.” In other words, there is no lasting, biological condition such as race (other than, of course, the human race) — it’s strictly based on societal norms at a given place and time.

Using that definition, we understand that interracial relationships involve two individuals who don’t have similar phenotypical features (in terms of race, we often think of skin tone, bone structure, and hair texture). Continue reading

Why Should We Get Married?
December 18, 2009, 9:24 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , ,

marriage-2 I think too often we — whether singles, Christians, whatever — tend to “tag along” with ideas without asking any questions Certain ideas and ways of doing things have just become the status quo. We blindly adopt the “if they’re doing it, I probably should too” ideology.

I would categorize marriage as one of those things. We never really examine if it’s something that’s for us. Instead we just assume it’s the natural next step and right and we fall right in line.

Do we get married because we have legitimate, real reasons, or do we do it just because that’s what society, and especially the church, tell us that we should do? If you get down to the heart of the matter, almost everything that one could do inside a marriage, could also be done outside of a marriage, whether in a committed partnership, or in some cases, just a “regular” relationship. Continue reading

Is 2009 The Year Of The Extramarial Affair?
December 11, 2009, 8:16 am
Filed under: Ministry, Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , , , ,

I had planned to blog about the new Disney movie, “The Princess and The Frog,” this week, yet I feel something more pressing right now. (Please believe that I’ll come back to that topic though).

It seems that 2009 is becoming the year of the affair. I don’t know that a month goes by without someone admitting (or being exposed for) an extramarital affair. And honestly, it break my heart.

Now, I have been silent about the whole Tiger Woods incident because I really had nothing new, appropriate, or beneficial to add to the gossip and speculation currently in circulation. However, after reading a tweet (and subsequently doing a bit of research) I found something that I was equally shocked and disappointed about (which I won’t go into the details of because you can find them for yourself). Allegedly, Gospel artists Da T.R.U.T.H. and Tye Tribbett have both recently had extramarital affairs. I guess we can chalk them up beside the dozens of other Christian artists and pastors who haven’t been completely appropriate in their sexual relations — whether with the opposite or the same sex. (I know they’re only allegations, but many times, the allegations are equally as damaging as the confirmation of the affair. Do we need examples? I think not) Continue reading

What I Learned From “The Maury Show” Part One – Secrets
August 7, 2009, 5:59 pm
Filed under: Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , , , ,
No matter how hard you try to hide it, what’s done in the dark will eventually come to the light.

I rarely watch “The Maury Show” but I was flipping through the channels and stumbled across a “headline” that caught my attention: “Husband Keeps 3 Secrets From Psychic Wife” I thought, like you probably did, “Shouldn’t she haven’t seen it coming? She is psychic, right?” I continued watching the show and found  3 valuable lessons in the midst of the chaos which I’ll discuss over this 3-part series.

The show went on to reveal that while the couple had been together for over 15 years with 5 kids (and they had made a previous appearance) and that the husband had gotten 2 new women pregnant. They were 8 and 6 months pregnant with his children. He had also been moonlighting as a stripper (for men and women) for the last 10 or so years. What does this teach us? Continue reading

Only ONE Girl in the World
July 24, 2009, 4:21 pm
Filed under: My Life..., Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , ,


I don’t want to f*ck every girl in the world. I don’t want to f*ck 100 of them. Not 10. Not 2. I want to make love to the one woman I will spend the rest of my life with.

My wife.

No one else.

Not only is the idea of having intercourse with every female on the planet repulsive, it’s highly incestual. After realizing that every girl in the world includes, not only your mother, but your sisters and your daughters, I’m perplexed as to why anyone would enjoy those lyrics. Why not sing a song about rape? Or abusing and violating a 5 year old? Anyone for some sodomy perhaps? It could be the next big hit!

In a world filled with sexuality, sensuality and perverted images everywhere you turn, there are still people who have chosen the high road. We have chosen to be virgins. Yes, we’ve made the choice. Continue reading

Change Your Last Name! Please…
July 22, 2009, 1:25 am
Filed under: Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , , , , ,

I believe when a man marries his wife, she should take his last name. Not retain hers. Not hyphen the 2 last names. Not combine the 2 last names and create a hybrid name. She should take his last name. If she so desires to hold onto hers she can use it as a middle name.

Taking a man’s name symbolizes the unity that you have created in a family. I says you are his wife. While the concept of women as property is outrageous and outdated, but the fact is this: The man is the leader and head of the household. The woman may (mistakenly) wear the pants, but God will ultimately hold the man accountable for what was done in his house. Even in choosing to let the woman run things, the man has the final say.

A wife who doesn’t have her husband’s name is not in full submission to him and to his authority. She also isn’t fully committed to the marriage. She is, in effect, saying to him, “I love you, but not enough to change my name. I’m excited about our future, but let me hold on to this piece of my past.”

Isn’t a name just a name? No, a name is so much more. Your family’s history, heritage, and reputation lie in their name. When I say Rockefeller, Kennedy, DeBeers, and Bush, you instantly have an idea of the family’s legacy; their beliefs, and their history. Continue reading