the BLOG of stuart mcdonald

You Put Your Own Ring On It?
March 23, 2010, 10:50 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , ,

When I see a woman for the first time, there are three things that I immediately look at: her face, her shoes, and her left ring finger — in that order. Overall physique and body type is important, but, I’ll get to that as I move from her face to her shoes and over to her ring finger. Why the ring finger? There’s no use thinking about anything further if her finger is occupied with a wedding (or even engagement) ring, is there?

Lately I’ve noticed that many women wear other types of rings on their left ring finger — the finger where people usually wear a wedding band. However, these rings don’t signify any commitment to another person, something a wedding/engagement ring does, and, in fact, can serve to confuse interested single men.

I have seen this technique used to one’s advantage, though. I have a good female friend who is single and travels about three weeks out of any given month. She’s open to dating, but it’s certainly not her top priority. In order to keep away random guys who try to approach her, — because, believe me, they do (and I can’t blame them) — she wears an engagement ring. It’s a nice one too. Of course, it’s not real, but a man who would approach her in the airport wouldn’t notice — especially since most men don’t have good sense in jewelry and it’s authenticity.

This is where it gets a bit tricky. A guy such as myself, even if I thought she was attractive, would see the ring, count her out, and keep moving. In essence, her “Mr. Right” could just keep it moving because he sees her finger occupied. And, being the respectful gentleman that he is, he knows it’s inappropriate to try to holler at a woman who’s already spoken for.

I realize that this may not be an issue for everyone. Some people may see a ring on the finger and proceed as if it didn’t exist. But, I can’t do such a thing. Neither would most of the respectable men I know. After all, ladies, would you want a man that tried to holler at you thinking that you were married? What does this say about his feelings about the sanctity of marriage? What would stop him from cheating on you? That relationship probably wouldn’t be the least bit healthy.

What’s a girl to do? Whatever the heck she wants. That’s what she’ll do anyhow, regardless of what I write about, isn’t it? Ultimately it is a personal choice. I just can’t help but wonder if, by wearing a ring on that finger, a woman might miss the man she’s supposed to be with. What do you think?

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8 Comments so far
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I seriously doubt she will miss out on her spouse. If she wears a ring then that might mean she isn’t ready for marriage. And why would God let him show up when she’s not ready? I don’t think he would, so I think your friend will be fine.

Comment by Je'Tara

I love fake rings on the left hand. Sometimes a girl just doesn’t want to be bothered and it’s easier to keep men away with a ring versus having that awkward “Um, thanks but no thanks” convo with them. #kanyeshrug

Comment by Karyn

I think the key is whether or not the lady is wearing the ring when a potential mate is near. I am guilty of this because of the business I work in. When I am “courting” a potential client, the LAST thing I want is for my friendliness to be taken for flirtation so i wear a ring. And YES when I don’t feel like being bothered, it serves a great purpose. We women who are smart enough to wear the ring when for it’s obvious benefits, are also smart enough to TAKE IT OFF when we are in an “element” where we feel like we may meet a suitor 😉

Comment by TL

I think it’s very foolish to go around wearing an engagement ring if you are not in a relationship.

Just learn to turn a man down when he approaches you. Because obnoxious men are not going to back down or even have the instinct to look for a ring anyway.

I think women who do that just want to have the feel of an engagement ring on their finger. haha. I’d rather wait until I have a genuine reason to wear one.

Men don’t wear engagement rings, so I myself am careful around any new man I meet. He could have a girlfriend, be engaged, or do hard labor that requires him to take the ring off, etc.

Comment by Christina

Even though some women think that it is prudent, I view it as deceptive. You are allowing men to *think* that you are married, but in fact, you *are not and in certain situations, you might take the ring off and actively *look for Mr. Right. If, however, a client or any man at first sees you with the ring on, and then, in another situation sees you with it off, he might ascertain that you, yourself, are an adulterer, . Women should learn to say “no Thanks,” firmly and with respect.

Comment by jamily5

I bought one of those fake rings for fun just to see what it would be like. It was like entering a new world. I learned that women look at them much more than men. And they evaluate the value of the woman based on the ring. I would see women look at me, then at my finger, get a look on their face and look at me again. I could see the “what does she have that I don’t” calculations going on in their head. I thought it was pretty hilarious. Wearing that ring was a fun experiment in human behavior.

Comment by Bridgette

You know, I’ve always wanted to wear a ring for a week & see if I could notice a change in how people (especially women) responded to me. I might just have to do that.

Comment by CreativeStu

Well, honestly, I used to think, “what if I missed out on meeting the guy intended for me?”
I see 2 flaws in that:
1) that if this guy was “intended” for me…that God couldn’t work around my human flaws. That seems pretty limiting of God.
2) that there is just one man out there that I would be compatible with. I no longer believe in soul-mates, or that God has fashioned one other human being for me. I do not see any biblical foundation for the idea of soul-mates.
I believe that God knows every detail of our lives and knows what decisions we will make. I believe that he helps guide us down paths. Due to free will though, people we could be very compatible with, we will never actually have that opportunity. No matter what, when you meet that person you are compatible with – you have to be willing to work. God will bless the relationship, but that doesn’t mean everything will be perfect.

Comment by i.e.

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