the BLOG of stuart mcdonald


Your Guide to Dating Christians
March 30, 2010, 1:34 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , ,

Dating

So you’ve heard that one of the best places to find a nice guy or girl for you to spend the rest of your life with is in the church, huh? Or perhaps you’ve heard that’s where you find the biggest freaks. Either way, you want to date a Christian, but you’re just not sure how to go about it. After all, Christian culture can be a bit strange sometimes. But you’re right to think that most Christians are great people. They’re very accepting, welcoming, and open to exploring new things. For the most part, they’re good people to be in a relationship with, given that you don’t mind adhering to a few (mostly unspoken) “rules.” In order to help you out, I’ve listed a few of those rules and the best ways to navigate them. Enjoy.

Act saved. Being a Christian is all about maintaining appearances. Try not to yell at people in public or listen to any non-worship music (when other people are around) or dress to scantily because people won’t think that you know Jesus. Please make sure you remember your manners. And the more ways you can find to use Scripture in your daily life, the better. Continue reading

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You Put Your Own Ring On It?
March 23, 2010, 10:50 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , ,

When I see a woman for the first time, there are three things that I immediately look at: her face, her shoes, and her left ring finger — in that order. Overall physique and body type is important, but, I’ll get to that as I move from her face to her shoes and over to her ring finger. Why the ring finger? There’s no use thinking about anything further if her finger is occupied with a wedding (or even engagement) ring, is there?

Lately I’ve noticed that many women wear other types of rings on their left ring finger — the finger where people usually wear a wedding band. However, these rings don’t signify any commitment to another person, something a wedding/engagement ring does, and, in fact, can serve to confuse interested single men.

I have seen this technique used to one’s advantage, though. I have a good female friend who is single and travels about three weeks out of any given month. She’s open to dating, but it’s certainly not her top priority. In order to keep away random guys who try to approach her, — because, believe me, they do (and I can’t blame them) — she wears an engagement ring. It’s a nice one too. Of course, it’s not real, but a man who would approach her in the airport wouldn’t notice — especially since most men don’t have good sense in jewelry and it’s authenticity. Continue reading



Chemistry vs Compatibility — Vlog
March 19, 2010, 12:13 pm
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , , ,

In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, chemistry plays a role. It can make a “bad” relationship seem better than it is, and an already good relationship seem euphoric. But how important is it really? How does it compare to compatibility? Ultimately where we rank chemistry and compatibility are personal choices, but either way, their importance is inescapable.

Check out some more of my thoughts in the video below and let me know where you fall?

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The Biggest Reason You’re Not Married
February 26, 2010, 11:11 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , , ,

There are certain questions that I can’t stand to answer. Partially because the answer will bring no benefit to the questioner, and partially because the question itself makes certain implications. My favorite (or perhaps least favorite) question of this type — “Why aren’t you married/dating/in a relationship?”

We all love to get that question, don’t we? Whether it’s family, parents, old friends we haven’t seen in a while, or maybe a new acquaintance (but I hope not a date, lest they’ve forgotten their manners), they all want to know why we haven’t been “snatched up” into a relationship.

I’ve been guilty of asking this question before, as I’m sure you have. When I ask the question, it’s really a less offensive way of saying, “What’s wrong with you? Where are your defects? Do you have a personality disorder? There must be some logical explanation as to why someone hasn’t decided they want to spend the rest of their life with you? What’s the problem?”  That’s the backhanded brilliance of the “why aren’t you” question — it says all that and more in such a way that people often don’t have a decent answer. Continue reading



Are Interracial Relationships Biblical?
February 23, 2010, 11:11 am
Filed under: race, Relationships | Tags: , , , , ,

Last week I talked about how interracial dating can go wrong by citing a certain website that is designed exclusively for those desiring only interracial relationships. I noted how this can allow people to develop unhealthy, racially-based fetishes. Since then, some have brought up the question of whether or not interracial dating is Biblical. This argument is not only easily dismantled, but in fact, racist in and of itself.

In order to properly talk about interracial relationships, we must define what race is. The best definition I have found comes from Dr. Mikhail Lyubansky, a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Illinois. He defines race as a “classification of human beings into politically motivated socially constructed categories based on arbitrary phenotypical combinations.” In other words, there is no lasting, biological condition such as race (other than, of course, the human race) — it’s strictly based on societal norms at a given place and time.

Using that definition, we understand that interracial relationships involve two individuals who don’t have similar phenotypical features (in terms of race, we often think of skin tone, bone structure, and hair texture). Continue reading



Do You Have These Red Flags In Your Relationship?
February 19, 2010, 11:11 am
Filed under: Relationships | Tags: , , , ,

RedFlags

In every dating relationship, the time comes when we must examine the other person’s character, integrity, and personality in order to discern whether or not we want to spend the rest of our lives with them. During this examination, we sometimes easily spot things that send up what is often referred to as a “red flag,” or a warning sign. But sometimes there are blatant things that we simply overlook for whatever reason. I know I’ve done it before and chances are that you have too.

So in hopes that we can all learn from my mistakes and hopefully be more aware these flags in the future, I’ve compiled the following list of a few of the major red flags that I look for when considering a relationship with someone. While these are all important and should be examined at some point in the relationship (preferably sooner rather than later), they are listed in no particular order. Continue reading



Why Must The “Manolos” Wait? The Idea Of Women Pursuing Men
January 22, 2010, 9:09 am
Filed under: Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , ,

flirtingIn my last post, “Manolos Vs. Maddens: A Lesson About Why Men Don’t Pursue,” I dealt with the question of why some men just don’t pursue to numerous quality women that are in their lives. I won’t repeat the entire article, but essentially the point was this — why pursue when you don’t have to?

However, I know some women probably read that and said, “We’re in the 21st century, why do I need to wait for a man to pursue me? I’m gonna get my man for myself. I’m not waiting on him.”

And I can understand their point. We do live in times that are culturally, very different from 50 years ago — heck, from 20 years ago. In a time when feminism and womanism is at, perhaps, an all time high, and “Miss Independent” is everywhere you look, I think it only natural that the question arrises…

Should women pursue men? Continue reading