the BLOG of stuart mcdonald


Here’s My Disclaimer…
August 26, 2009, 7:50 pm
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life... | Tags: , , , , ,

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I feel a little like I’ve been neglecting my blog since school has started on August 17th. I’ve also been blogging at another site, Elev8.com, which is owned by Radio One and while it’s been fun blogging there, it’s definitely a different crowd than here. Y’all get the more transparent, honest, side of me over here. They get the more Christian, spiritual side of me. I’m going to try not to post the same articles in both places, but occasionally will.

I wanted to write this post for 2 reasons: to let you know I still care about my readers and to give all those who know me in “real life” my disclaimer. For some reason, I feel like I need to give folks a disclaimer as to what they’re getting into when they converse with me> It’s really more for them than it is for me.I want them to know what to expect from me. The reason I feel this applicable to discuss now is due to a conversation and ensuing drama I had to deal with last night because of a tweet and Facebook status update.

DISCLAIMER: If you are in my life in any way, shape, or form, there is a high possibility that you will either be tweeted about, have a Facebook status update concerning you, or perhaps even a blog post written about something you’ve done. I will not use personal details that could, in any way, identify you without first obtaining your permission to do so.

The reason I do this is the same reason I make myself as open and available to everyone: I want people to learn from my successes as well as my mistakes and hopefully be entertained and provoked to think outside the box along the way.

If I make mention of you, or something you’ve done, it’s not a personal attack or a passive aggressive attempt to try to tell you something. I would never tweet anything about you that I wouldn’t tell you to your face. If you mess up, at least let me use that situation, or perhaps a hypothetical one very similar to yours, to help others learn. If you succeed, or avoid doing something stupid, why wouldn’t you want to tell others in order for them do avoid the same situations?

I understand that not everyone is as open and vulnerable with their life as I am. That’s fine. I’m not asking you to be. I’m simply asking you to let me use your situation, minus the personal, identifying details, to help, entertain, or enlighten others. Anyone who you tell the story or situation to, should do the same, I’m just taking it to a slightly larger audience.

Now, chances are good that most people will have no clue of who, if anyone, I may be referring to in my “stories” or “examples” unless you publicly get angry and thus expose yourself. If, by chance, someone knows who I’m talking about, it’s probably because they’re familiar with the situation, possibly because you personally told them, and it should come as no surprise. In the rare case that someone, somehow finds out some new information, suck it up and deal with it. Act like the adult that you (hopefully) are and find a mature solution to the “problem.”

I must say this as well, to offer a little balance: I will not tweet about every move you make or everything you do or don’t do. I won’t every publish anything online that I wouldn’t personally tell you to your face. In a lot of cases, I will tell you or hint at what I’ll “publish” before I actually do so. I only make mention of those things which I think others could benefit from in some way.

As much as I love you, if you don’t want to confide in me, or be my friend, don’t. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s ok. I’ll be alright. I certainly had friends before you came along and I’ll continue to have them whenever you transition out of my life. That’s not to say that I won’t miss you and the role you play in my life; I will, but I’ve realized that very few relationships will last for the rest of my life. I’ve made peace with that and with the fact that the person who sticks around may not be you. I don’t want you to feel any kind of undue obligation to hang out with, or talk to me for any reason.

If you’ve made up in your mind that you don’t wish to interact with me, I’m not going to argue with you about it. When minds are made up, there’s generally no amount of effort that will change that. I’m not going to needlessly exert effort when it’s essentially a waste of my time. That’s not being a good steward of my time or yours.

That disclaimer was a lot longer than I expected it to be, but I want to be clear as it relates to what you should expect. The choice is now in your hands. Take it or leave it.

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