the BLOG of stuart mcdonald

Who Are You NOT to Forgive?
July 21, 2009, 12:21 pm
Filed under: Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , , ,

Yesterday, Chris Brown released a video statement apologizing for his assault on his then girlfriend, singer Rihanna. Because we all have the expertise of Sotomayor, America was quick to judge and to criticize, but I wanted to withhold my thoughts for a day. In case you haven’t seen it, you can watch it below.

Did he read off a script? Probably. When I have to make an apology, I always write down my thoughts beforehand. It helps me to makes sure I’ve included everything I want to say. It also ensures that I say what I mean to say. If he hadn’t read off a script people would be hollering, “He didn’t even care enough to take the time to write out an apology! He was just saying whatever!” You can’t please everyone. Writing the statement beforehand was the right thing.

Do I think he’s genuinely sorry? Yes. He said it with his words, and with his actions by staying out the the spotlight these last few months. I’m sure he probably regretted his actions as soon as it happened. I don’t think it was a premeditated beat down. It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment and made mistakes. It happens to me. It happens to you.

Does this mean we should forgive him? Yes. In a perfect world (which we don’t live in) we should forgive others before they ask for it. Instead, we often find it suits us better if we hold onto and nurse the hurt. We let the hurt grow into unforgiveness which then turns into bitterness and that bitterness makes everyone’s life better!

Does our acceptance of his apology make his actions acceptable? Absolutely not! Violence against women is entirely unacceptable. Period. However, it’s paramount to be able to separate his actions in that moment, his mistakes, from who he is. It’s one thing if this is a pattern in his life. But this is a singular incident. Could it happen again? It surely could, but let’s not judge him like it already has.

I want to be forgiven for my mistakes. Lord knows I make plenty of them. It’s foolish to hold offense against others while at the same time expecting others to forgive me. What right do we have not to forgive him? Have his action hurt you personally? My guess: probably not. Let the man have his life back!

{Authors Note: Can someone get the man a different shirt? It looks like he’s the head chef coming out of the kitchen at a restaurant. Wardrobe please!}


5 Comments so far
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I was just discussing this w/ some coworkers at lunch today…and my response to each question was the exact same!!! And I told them that I wish CB all the best. HE is not done with him yet! 🙂

Comment by Damiana

Pretty much my thoughts exactly. As you know by now.

Comment by jg14

AGREED! I was going to write a similar blog today!

Comment by shix

Agreed. I was just telling someone today that we act as if he had an obligation to apologize to us. He apologized to her. That’s the only person he owes…

Comment by keilabee

This is wisdom speaking. Good stuff Stuart!

Comment by Nelson McDonald

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