the BLOG of stuart mcdonald

Don’t Be Like Me: Part 1 of 3: My Apology
July 9, 2009, 10:12 am
Filed under: My Life..., Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I realize I have done some things I should not have. I owe you an apology. Somehow, Maxwell’s “Pretty Wings” seems incredibly appropriate for right now.

Time will bring the real end of our trial. One day there’ll be no remnants, no trace no residual feelings within ya. One day you won’t remember me.

Your face will be the reason I smile, but I will not see what I cannot have forever. I’ll always love ya; I hope you feel the same

Although he said it well, I could never let another man speak for me completely.

I played with your emotions. I knew what I was doing. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know the extent to which you were really feeling me. I knew you liked me. And I liked you. We had chemistry. I got caught up. My intent was not to lead you on or to hurt you, regardless of how you perceived it. I don’t want to hurt anyone, much less those close to me.

I failed to look at the big picture soon enough. Honestly, I was afraid you wouldn’t be in it. And I was right. It pains me to picture life without you, but really, I don’t see you as my wife. Not right now. That is the reason I didn’t think ahead. Because in the moment, we were having fun together and I enjoyed it. I didn’t want to think about the possibility that it would have to stop or that our relationship would change.

You are a good woman. No, a great woman. You’re beautiful, caring, funny, and sensitive, albeit sometimes too much… but that’s why I like you! We had great times together. Whether it was a movie, dinner, or just sitting on the couch having a conversation, I knew I could just get away from whatever was going on in life when I was with you. I loved that. There are few people in this world that I have that type of relationship with.

My desire is that we’d continue to be friends, however I leave that choice to you. If you feel it won’t work, I’ll be sad because my actions cost me a friendship; and a good one at that. But I have to accept responsibility for my actions. And I will.

I care about you. I appreciate you. I’m sorry.


14 Comments so far
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See-thru! Can’t wait to read pt. 2

Comment by Keilabee1

Nice Stuie. Nice.

Comment by Juju

This is so real of u! Unfortunately this situation is not uncommon. I take it, all this has happen b/c one person in the friendship starting “catchin feelin’s” for the other and it was not mutual.

I hope that you guys can still be friends one day. I do think some time apart for the girl’s sake would be needed though….and u must be okay with that.

Things like this DO change a friendship….but at least now that things are out in the open the opportunity for a TRUE friendship remains.

Comment by Mdot

@Mdot – That’s exactly what happened. She caught feelings & didn’t exactly help out. I think we’ll get around to being friends again, but for now, I’m giving her the time she needs to do whatever women do when they say they “need time”. LOL! Thanks for the read & the comment!

Comment by CreativeStu

I forgive you. Just don’t let it happen again. *giggles* Sorry… you’re being serious and here I am being silly. This is great, Stu. I appreciate your honesty and courage. And if she’s as great a woman as you say, she will too.

Comment by Sanga

Very well put Stu. very open and honest. i hope she accepts your apology. continuing to be friends will be hard especially right now. but I’m sure once the hurt settles she will realize the friendship you guys had was special. i’m looking forward to part 2.

Comment by Tasha

That was very nice Stu. Its hard to be transparent in a world when folks are so quick to judge. I hope that everything works out.

Comment by Tatum

You’re cool Stu. Yes, this has happened PLENTY of times with everyone. I pray the relationship can continue as friends w/out hard feelings. If nothing else, hopefully everyone learned from the experience. We all have to get past ourselves sometimes and push “pause” when we see what’s coming ahead. Nice apology.

Comment by Barroness

I really appreciate when I hear about things like this. Stu, I commend you for being open, honest, and transparent. I think in the end, your first steps will help her realize what an awesome friend you are. I pray that you have learned and that she is open to the idea. Again, thanks!!

Comment by TDrape

Thank you all for your comments! It took a lot out of me (and Maxwell) to face my feelings and write this down, but I’m VERY glad I did! Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow!

Comment by CreativeStu

If not today, she’ll grow to forgive you in time. This happens a lot when – we have to learn to set boundaries; to protect ourselves from getting hurt and from hurting others. Great post.

Comment by Stephanie

Wow, Stu! I love what you wrote, and I am sure that any woman who reads this will feel the truth of it. You are a great example of mature adult manhood, my friend!

Comment by joysrantlist

This freaks me out because I’ve had someone say this to me. It’s strange. It’s beautiful and painful all at the same time. Timing is everything.

Comment by jg14

You know, I’ve had a few women tell me they’ve heard something similar. Believe me, I don’t know those other dudes, but if they apologize like this, they must be for real!

And BOY! Timing IS everything!

Comment by CreativeStu

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