the BLOG of stuart mcdonald


Saved Men are NOT Blind
July 3, 2009, 10:26 am
Filed under: Mind Flush, Relationships, Think About It | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Blind Man

On Facebook, my friend, Chris, posted a note basically proposing that there were 2 types of women. You had the “Proverbs 31” woman, who may be all that and a bag of chips, but ain’t as fly as she could be. Then you had the “worldly” woman, who is seen all over the place. Fly, fine, and feminine. I had to make a comment and here it is:

Saved men are NOT blind. Men are visual beings. We all know this. The world DEFINITELY knows it; look at everything they put in our face. They’ve got the program down packed. Sex sells. Honestly, I feel like the church “asks” us to look past the physical in order to “find a good thing”. I will look past it, but I have to look AT it before I look PAST it. If the men should apologize for anything, it should be relying solely on looks and nothing else.

PLEASE believe my “good thing” will both be a Proverbs 31 woman AND have the beauty of a worldly woman (although she may not “show it off” in the same way). I am perplexed as to why this has to be an either/or discussion, when truthfully it should be a both/and. Call me what you want, but I will NOT be with someone I’m not attracted to JUST because she’s got great faith. It’s not happening for me. Especially if we’ve got to spend the rest of out lives together and have sex.

I KNOW people will jump on me for saying this… but maybe an apology should come from some of the women who think because a man is saved, he’s not supposed to care what women look like. I will laugh in your face if you try to tell me that foolishness! HA!

When you got saved, what gives you the right to throw your style & sense of good personal appearance out the door? Oh, I know, God looks at the heart… Well then get your heart right for God & get your looks right so you can get a man! There is NO reason you shouldn’t want to have yourself looking fly and put together. Not only when you’re trying to be found (that’s right, BE found) but even more-so AFTER you get your man. Because at that point you are a representation of him, his family, and his legacy. If you care about him, you wouldn’t want anything to reflect poorly on him, much less something you can change!

And because I know someone will twist my words, I have never said you must be skinny, slim, thin or any variation thereof. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. That’s what I’m asking. If you don’t know how to, ASK someone who does.

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2 Comments so far
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I agree with you. I’ve seen some women completely lose their sense of style after getting married. Their response to me is that they just don’t have time anymore and that their priorities are different. Well that kind of stuff makes me not even want to get married because I don’t want to give up my style. And it’s not about being materialistic. I’m working on the inside as well, but I like to make sure I’m well put together before I leave the house.

On the flip side, I find that some men in the church don’t even put their best foot forward in appearance before they even walk down the aisle. I mean, can we say “toothbrush?” But that’s another story…you have to excuse me, I’ve had several experiences with that…

Anywho…well said, CreativeStu.

Comment by azuspeak

Thanks for the article. I have a few comments:

First off – your delivery was interesting. As I don’t really know you, I found it rather harsh and kinda cruel. Maybe blunt is a better word. It sounded like a vent?

Second, I think your message didn’t quite come across. I was left a bit confused at the end by what you truly meant w.r.t. “attractiveness”.

Were you talking about someone being unattractive because she didn’t present herself well, or because she was simply unattractive and it wouldn’t help even if Rachel Zoe was her personal stylist? If this is the situation you’re referring to, then – what? That poor saved sista should just do herself in and save herself the trouble?

IF on the other hand, you were saying that just because a person is Christian, it doesn’t mean that they should just let themselves go in the name of spiritual growth – that appearance does matter. That I completely agree with. I work very hard to keep myself up and to dress to enhance what God gave me and to take some care (not pride) in my appearance.

Unfortunately, your delivery muddled your message and so I was unclear in the beginning which situation you were referring to.

Comment by phoenics




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