the BLOG of stuart mcdonald


Ladies – Let the Man Be the Man – Part 2
December 16, 2008, 9:34 pm
Filed under: Relationships, Uncategorized
Ladies,I love you.

I think that you being able to do things on your own is great and it’s comforting to know because I may not always be around to help you out. I understand that things can get complicated when there are 2 or more doors involved, revolving doors, etc, but what I really want to see from you is that you respect me enough to let me fulfill my God given role in your life.

I believe the expectation should be that the man would honor you by opening the door or carrying your bags, but I realize that those expectations often fall short. I understand that not all men do these things for ladies and I think that’s a shame. I apologize on behalf of those who don’t have the home training to do so. The majority of men that don’t do those things, make it that much harder on those of us that do. I know that your brain and you habits have not gotten to where they are today overnight and that it’s been a process of training them to recognize that men will be rude and do not necessarily do the courteous thing all the time. I don’t expect it to be an overnight transformation, but I am asking that you make a concerted effort to do your best. I, of course, am speaking only for myself and not for anyone else and I’m asking you this as your friend, boyfriend, or husband, not as some random stranger with whom you have no real relationship with.

I’m not saying that every man should behave this way. I’m letting you know what you can expect from me. I do not find the full extent of my masculinity in opening doors for women, please believe that. I think that it’s a dangerous thing to rest all of your character or being on one particular act(s). It is something that’s important to me and I mean no harm by it. Let me be clear; I know well that you can do everything and more all by yourself and I love that about you! Knowing that you can do things without me is an incredible reassurance that you are truly a Godly woman. My assistance isn’t meant to offend you by any means; it is meant strictly to show you that I can about you, love you, and respect you. I will open the doors, etc, for the women in my life as long as I am physically able to do so; will teach my sons to do so; and will teach my daughters to recognize and understand what it is like to be treated like the princesses that they are and the queens they will become.

The gift of respect is one of, if not the, greatest gifts that you can give a man. Respect is “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something based upon their abilities, qualities or achievements.” When you don’t let me me the man God created me to be, you don’t respect me. Personally, I don’t feel like you can love me and not respect me; you can however, respect me without loving me. This sends me conflicting messages because here you say that you love (and respect, because they’re hand-in-hand) me but yet not letting me serve you, which says you don’t respect me. Can you understand how I’d be a little confused?

Please don’t take my kindness as a sign of weakness. That would be a huge mistake on your part. The ultimate sign of strength is the willingness to submit to others and a willingness to selflessly serve. That, after all, is what Christ did. He wrapped himself in flesh, his own creation, and came to this Earth, washed the feet of those closest to Him, and ultimately died so that we might live with Him. Matthew 20:26-28 says, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others…”

I need you to understand that I don’t want you for what you have, I want you for who you are, and everything that means! I don’t want to enter into any relationship so I can be waited on hand and foot. That is not a woman’s purpose in a relationship. Any man who would tell you that is a fool, and is not only selfish, but doesn’t understand God’s intentions for male-female relationships. I want us to have a healthy relationship where there is mutual love and respect for each other that allows us to serve one another with love and grace.

Ladies, I love you. Thank you for being the women that you are and taking time to listen to my concerns. It is greatly appreciated.

SBM

PS. There may be more to come later. I greatly and sincerely appreciate your thoughts and ideas.

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