I had an assignment in English class, a mock version of the Regents Exam, which all college students are required to take before they complete 40 hours. I had a choice of questions, but I wanted to share my response with you. Keep in mind that I only had about 45 minutes to write this, so get uber critical of me. The question was:
Do you long for the past or look eagerly toward the future? Explain.
The present is a funny thing. It’s only here for but a moment and then it’s the past. The future, then, is that which lies ahead of us – however near or far is may be. It’s far better to anticipate the future than to concentrate on your past. How can you drive a car by only looking in the rear-view mirror? You can’t. Eventually you would get into an accident. Our lives are the same way – we must look ahead more often than we look back. An occasional glance to the rear isn’t bad. In fact, it’s healthy. It helps us remember where we are currently by showing us where we’ve come from.
Often people look back at their past and wish they could somehow relive those days, yet they often fail to realize one important concept – if somehow you change one aspect of your past, your entire present, and subsequently your future change as well. In other words, we wouldn’t be where we are today if we didn’t have the past that we did. For example, my parents divorced when I was eight years old. Their relationship afterward and their relationships with those that they dated and remarried has greatly shaped my interaction, opinions, and actions when I’m in a romantic relationship. I cannot change this, nor should I spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on it. I must learn from their mistakes, and perhaps my mistakes and move on to what lies ahead. (more…)
Today I don’t really have anything too deep or insightful or controversial. I just wanted to write a little bit about what I feel like God has been doing in my life. This is more of a journal entry than you’ve seen me do in a while, perhaps. Just as a heads up: I’m going to be intentionally vague about specific names because I don’t think that they necessarily add anything to the story.
I guess I have some uncertainty, as we all do from time to time, or perhaps more often than periodically, about what exactly it is that God’s doing. I feel like He’s behind the scenes, moving things around, getting some stuff ready, but for what, I don’t know yet. I feel like there have been several statement that people have made, several hints that really struck a chord. You ever had a few completely random people mention the same thing to you at completely different times? That’s happened a few times lately. It’s very interesting because what they’re mentioning wasn’t really something I thought I would be doing, but I can see how God could use that as a part of my calling. (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life... | Tags: blog, disclaimer, facebook, friendship, honesty, twitter
I feel a little like I’ve been neglecting my blog since school has started on August 17th. I’ve also been blogging at another site, Elev8.com, which is owned by Radio One and while it’s been fun blogging there, it’s definitely a different crowd than here. Y’all get the more transparent, honest, side of me over here. They get the more Christian, spiritual side of me. I’m going to try not to post the same articles in both places, but occasionally will.
I wanted to write this post for 2 reasons: to let you know I still care about my readers and to give all those who know me in “real life” my disclaimer. For some reason, I feel like I need to give folks a disclaimer as to what they’re getting into when they converse with me> It’s really more for them than it is for me.I want them to know what to expect from me. The reason I feel this applicable to discuss now is due to a conversation and ensuing drama I had to deal with last night because of a tweet and Facebook status update. (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life... | Tags: encouragement, God, honesty, questions, rejection, Relationships
I’ve been very lazy with my relationship with God lately. Honestly, I’ve backslidden. I haven’t had drastic moral failures, but in any relationship you’re either moving forward or backward. I was moving backward with Him. I haven’t been spending time with Him like I should and I couldn’t figure out why.
So I had a very honest conversation with Him. I rambled about how I felt and about my fears in life. What I wanted, what I thought I needed, and how I was angry with Him. I told Him how I didn’t see Him working in my life and the confusion that was causing. I was as open as honest as I could have been. At the end of our conversation (or rather my rambling), I still hadn’t heard Him speak, so I simply said, “God, why do I not have as close of a relationship with you as I should?” (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life..., Think About It | Tags: battles, faith, new season, prayer, strength
Lately, it seems like there are so many people around me (including me) who are getting so many things thrown are them. While I tried to write numerous posts today, this was all that would really come out. Here is my prayer for, and with, those who may be going through & fighting the battles of life:
Lord, I admit that I have been trying to help you out. I’ve been trying to fight for you. I have even been fighting with you because I thought the plans I had were better than the plans you had for me. God, I give the battle over completely and fully to you. I relinquish my control and give it to you fully. I will fight the fight that you tell me to regardless of where that takes me! I know that if you can take me into battle, you are surely God enough to bring me out victorious! (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life... | Tags: apology, God, honest, Jesus, life, prayer, real, sorry
This is not going to be pretty, well thought out, eloquent post. This is going to be a messy post. I’m just gonna talk to God and be entirely honest about where I am right now. I don’t expect your comments or applause. I just need to talk to God about my life. I thought you might be able to gain something by listening in so… Enjoy your eavesdropping.
God… I’m sorry. I haven’t depended on you. Especially not for the things I truly needed. I thought I could do it on my own. I feel like less of a man when I have to admit I need your help. But I do. God I need your help. I can’t do this thing called life by myself. As much as I want to say I did it, I know you are worthy of any shred of attention I could garner by myself. You alone are the reason I’m alive today, with a story to tell and a means by which to tell it!
Jesus, don’t let me be drawn my the applause and approval of men. Let me not entertain them & their frivolity. I want you to be pleased with me. I want to hear you say, “Well done.” Let me not play and cater to their ever changing whims. They will only take me further off course! Let me direct all praise back to You, for I have nothing in and of myself! You give me everything. (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, Relationships, Think About It | Tags: father, life, loved ones, memories, Michael, Michael Jackson, son, thoughts, tribute
Watching Michael Jackson’s memorial today really hit me hard. I wrote a post about him & his legacy last week, but what hit me today was his humanity. He was a son. A brother. A father. A friend.
I’m normally a fairly composed person, even when sadness and mourning is all around. I’ve normally “walked through” what could go on in my mind. I’ve thought about how I would respond before things happen.
I was prepared for the speakers. I thought I was prepared for the musicians. What I wasn’t prepared for was the 11 year old girl. For the first time in her life, Paris Katherine Jackson took the microphone. She spoke 30 of the shortest and most basic words in the English language. They were words that made the world stop. And weep with her and perhaps for her.
“I just wanted to say, ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him so much.”
I wept. Tears streaming down my face, trying to catch my breath. (more…)
Filed under: Mind Flush, My Life..., Relationships, Think About It | Tags: black, culture, dating, interracial relations, love, marriage, race, slavery, white
I read a highly intriguing article today entitled: Black Women: White Men Are Not Looking To Wife Most Of You. I always love reading articles from people who I don’t agree with because it pushes and expands my knowledge. It forces me to think about what I believe and why. Below is my response to the article.
I am a white man & I’m attracted to black women. I’m also attracted to white women, Latino women, and occasionally an Asian woman. I’m not into black women because it’s some sort of fetish or because I want to “relive the days of slavery.” It just happens that a lot of the characteristics and qualities I desire in women, are encompassed in those whose have an African American ancestry. (more…)